Sunday, May 4, 2008

Tis or Tain't?

This has been a frustrating week and I'm guessing (hoping?) that some of you can relate and that I'm not too wayyyy out in LaLaLand. Probable MS... do I or don't I????

First, I had my yearly with my Primary Doctor. She did a very thorough exam and pointed out deficits/abnormals as she went. I'm OK with that. I knew what they were anyway. She reminded me to be careful on the stairs, advised cranberry juice to prevent UTI's due to bladder issues, agreed with my bowel routine to keep things moving along, renewed clonazepam for night-time leg spasms. She listened, advised, didn't make me feel crazy. She said "your MS may continue to give you problems with {insert countless weird symptoms here}" and instead of making me feel like a victim, she encouraged me to be proactive. I'm fine with not knowing for sure what is going on neurologically, as long as there she recognizes *something*.

Then, my 3-month follow-up with my Neurologist (which fell in the middle of one of my nastiest days at work, as fate would have it). Pompous a$$. 5 minutes, no eye contact, a barely minimal neuro exam that ONLY tested cranial nerves (I was a stroke nurse, *I* could have done this to me... and I don't have problems with my tongue deviating or my eyebrows raising evenly... how about testing my reflexes and balance??). I told him about falling down the stairs last month and my leg buckling at least once/wk leaving me catching myself or on the floor. He says "may be seizures or black-outs". What should I do for follow-up/safety? "Less stress". Hmm, I'm right on that, Doc.

Bladder problems: "You have four children, of course you will have bladder problems". Well what about the 5 years after last child/before bladder problems began?? I was once the queen of the Kegels before I became the queen of the numbum last fall. He said "you need to see a urologist/gyne and they will test you and teach you exercises. But I don't know any good ones to refer you to, so ask your primary doctor. Here is a prescription for Detropan in the meantime" (bladder infections, here we come!!!) He says "We don't know what is going on, but stress and depression can be very psychosomatic" (uhhhh, what if I am not depressed, and my greatest stress right now is dealing with two pre-teen daughters?? LOL -- sure that IS stressful, but it's very doable :)

He left me feeling a little insane, imaginative, and problematic. The joys of the Specialists -- if they can't immediately nail something, it's hard on their ego's and they will rather abandon it than wait and see. I don't want an immediate diagnosis. I don't want a bunch of prescriptions. I just want to be safe, and I just want to know that I'm not imagining myself into numbness, electric zaps, tripping, weak legs, and bowel incontinence.

I know that they see some really creative patients... but that is not me. I don't have time for that. And I wouldn't have picked elimination failure as my symptom of choice if I did!!

Rant, rant, rant. Maybe I *do* have something to prove...

6 comments:

Thalia's Child said...

Doctors make me crazy. Sounds like your primary is AWESOME. And your neuro is an idiot :P

BRAINCHEESE said...

Bastid...Can I say that about a Canadian??? LOL

As a nurse (and especially a neuro nurse), you already KNOW what's going on with your body...I imagine you'll just have to accept this WITHOUT the confirmation of numnuts...I mean the neuro. It's bad enough to already FEEL like we are imagining some of this stuff...but to be told crap about "psychosomaticizing" is just turn of the century medicine. sigh...


Linda D. in Seattle

mdmhvonpa said...

Sorry about your 'Doctor' problems. It can be hit or miss sometimes, eh?

Nervus Rex said...

Thanks, dear friends.

Numnuts the Neuro. I like that :)

Carolyn said...

Elimination failure is not one I would choose either. But I am glad to see your funny bone hasn't gone numb like your bum. I really admire you for that!

beingammey said...

It took a loooonnnnggg time and several numnuts before I was started on MS therapy. I waited until I lost some vision permanently before I put my foot down. And asked for a second opinion.